At some oftentimes unexpected juncture you’re handed a helpless bundle of joy. And into him you pour all your waking hours, love and encouragement. And you develop a unique bond that can never be broken. Until he grows much larger and stronger than you, and financially independent and then removes his own lead and moves into a new kennel with another dog who he’d rather spend his time with.

Sure, he calls you occasionally and then when you can no longer look after yourself he puts you in a home with the other old parents that you pay for out of your savings. And then you die and he gets all your stuff.